Italian Ice

Here is something I wrote in New York City. It is my food critic review of a food stand called "Italian Ice and Pretzel" in Penn Station:

Opting to steer clear of the lonely baking pretzel for sale at this vendor, I settled for the Italian Ice, reasoning that anything with the word "nice" hidden in it's title couldn't be that bad. My choices in size and container were an Arby's ketchup conatiner or one of those paper cups you spit into at the dentists. Confused, at first, I said that I did not require a sample to which the vendor kindly informed me that, no, these were the actual portion sizes. Chosing the dentist cup ($2.25!) I now had the uneviable task of picking a flavor.

What originally would have been four choices was limited to a cruel two, but a famished public that had already consumed the tubs labeled "rainbow" and "vanilla". What remained was "Cocunut" and "Chocolate". Skeptically, I chose "Chocolate" which turned out to be cocnut with a few small chocolate chips sprinkled in.

The Texture of the treat was smooshy, against all conventional Italian Ice convention. I scrambled to consume as much ice as I could before it became Italian water, and my punishment was an "Italian Ice Cream Headache". The dish was quite bland with occasional blasts of overpowering sweetness provided by the woefully out of context chocolate chips.

Overall, the Italian Ice teetered perilously upon the border of the edible and the inedible, and I would reccommend that any potential diner steer clear of "Italian Ice and Pretzel" in Penn Station. If you must visit, take a risk...try the pretzel.