Not Fit But I Know It

For my whole life I've been a very active guy. My sports peak was definitely high school where I played a sport every semester for all four years. I think I got some kind of commemorative pen for my achievement at my final sports banquet.

The fact that I was playing so many sports tricked people into thinking that I was actually good at them. One day, probably Junior year, Bobby Larsen was at my house and we were skateboard when all of a sudden he realized and told me, "Hey I'm better at sports than you". I protested as any guy would, but he was right. I was never really that good at any of my three sports. But I had been there from the beginning and I always showed up, so I was grandfathered into all-league titles and CIF Championships.

The disadvantage of never getting really good at any one sport is that college varsity athletics are an impossibility. I have joked around about playing special teams for Princeton football, but I'm not actually that interested in an endeavor where the percentage chance of death is in the double digits.

What was left, then, were the club sports. My sophomore year I gave rugby a try for one quarter. Back when I lived in England I had loved the sport and one of the top ten achievements of my life is knocking a kid unconscious during practice one day. In college, though, I found that I would no longer have that opportunity. With the average college rugby player roughly twice my size, my only goal was to avoid injury. After 10 minutes of playing time during which my sole achievement was a foul that I didn't understand, I called it quits.

This year I had considered playing Frisbee, but I found it hard to force myself into a sport with a name as stupid as "Ultimate".

In the absence of organized team sports, I had started working out. By sophomore year, I was running or lifting basically every day, usually with my friend from Physics camp Rob Biederman. We began a routine replete with broken record catchphrases like, "Go big or go home...literally". Before a really heavy lifting exercise one of us would request an inspirational song, Rob liked "Enter Sandman", I usually preferred "Lose Yourself". I never got to bodybuilder stature, but I was in good shape.

And then I went to China. China is full of workout equipment that you would expect to find in one of those black and white 1930's weight loss documentaries. I'm not sure if you know what I'm talking about, but if you do that's exactly what they're like. Some of the workout equipment actually included a giant swing and seesaw. Or maybe I was just at the playground.

So when I came back to school this year, I was a bit out of shape. It didn't help that I never got back into a workout routine, or that every week Quad celebrated Fried Fuesday, with Onion rings, mozarella sticks, and chiken nuggets. At the start of this semester my fitness had reached a new low.

Thankfully I received a phone call from Rob over spring break. He had fallen into a similar situation, and decided that it was time to do something about it. I asked if there was any one thing that pushed him over the edge, and he said yes. The other day, he said, he had taken a long look in the mirror. He then claims to have begun weeping. If the story is true or not, the fact remains, Rob and I were on a highway to obesity and we both wanted off.

And so, this past Monday we headed back to the gym for the first time in a long time. On tuesday the range of motion for my arms and legs was approximately 10% of normal, which is to say we had a good workout. We have pledged to continue our workout into the summer, as Rob will be in NYC as well. So, if you don't recognize me the next time you see me, yes that is me Tom Knight, I'm just that buff (or at least I will be).

From the Basement of a Library

I have been holed up in Firestone library for quite some time now, ostensibly working on my "Junior Paper", but mainly getting sidetracked way too easily. Here is one of the many hilarious things I've found on the web instead of working:

Excellent NCAA tournament article

Speaking of which, I am not faring too well in the St. Margaret's alumni pool, with a current rank of 13 out of 14. Chris Knight is surprisingly in the lead right now, though his prospects are somewhat dim, having incorrectly picking all of the final four teams. To be fair, only one person in the pool really has any chance of improving his standing at all. With everyone else have played it safe with Duke or Uconn as champs (and Riaz mysteriously taking Texas A&M), Joey Kelly can stand proud in his support of the UC's, as his UCLA pick gives him a chance for glory.

Here is something else that is funny:

Making Fun of the Family Circus

Mr. Warren used to have something of an obsession for this cartoon, and he had one posted in his classroom that was really disturbing, but which I'm having a hard time remembering anything about. Apparently the author has a kid at St. Margaret's.

Well, I have much work left to do and much dinner to eat. In closing let me present you with the file names from the project that I'm working on. It involves a really annoying piece of software that I have spent many hours trying to understand. These go in chronological order:

Custom1.sdc
Custom2.sdc
Custom3.sdc
Custom4.sdc
It'5.sdc
pleasework.sdc
fortheloveofgod.sdc
it'sgettingbetter.sdc

So that's where I'm at right now. I think I might have actually figured something out, but the way these things go, I'm probably more doomed than ever.

Viva Loss Vegas

Oh, hey there? How are you? It's been a long time since I blogged, and I'm not really sure I remember how all this works. But as the weeks have gone by, my readership has dwindled pathetically and my ego won't have it. Let's see, maybe I should talk about technology or emotions or something.

Yesterday I went to a marketing conference in Las Vegas with Kip, my dad. I suppose you might say it was sort of a pointless thing to do, but it was fun nonetheless, despite the fact that I'm still not allowed to gamble. Here's the thing though, I think not letting 21 year olds gamble in Vegas has to be one of the most pointless laws of all time. Even if they let me, there's no way that I could afford to play at the $25 minimum black jack tables that are the norm there. Anyone under 21 who has amassed a fortune enough to wager 1000 dollars at will is probably as mature as the mass of elderly Asians that populate the Vegas tables.

Maybe they're worried about me playing slots. Well too late. In an act of uncharacteristic rebellion I played 1 dollar of video poker in the airport lobby. I got a pair of 2's which I think should count for something, but left me with a net earnings of 1 dollars for the trip.

Kip got it even worse. After a dinner with a bunch of business people, Kip and I walked over to the new Wynn casino which was supposed to be amazing, but was really just a bunch of palm trees and flowers. If I spend billions on a casino, I guarantee there will be waterslides everywhere. Anyway, I cajoled Kip into playing video poker, despite the bad luck I'd had earlier. A short 5 minutes later, Kip had lost 5 dollars, and we left dejected.

The actual conference started the next morning. It was a number of speeches on marketing, which is what you'd expect given the title of the event: "THE conference on Marketing". I made a hilarious powerpoint which is a gentle parody of the events that unfolded there, but I can't really figure out how to put a power point on a blog, so you will have to take my word for it that it was hilarious.

Kip gave a nice speech about how great eBay is, and afterwards he was swarmed by a large group of people. I thought it was nice that they were all congratulating him, which apparently some of them were, but apparently there were a number of people trying to sell eBay on their great marketing techniques. I was approached by one of these people later, who set in with a handshake and a "Mr. Knight..." It was my first time being called Mr. Knight.

For whatever reason the Venetian decided to upgrade our hotel room for the one night we stayed there, so we got to stay in an awesome sweet, which, because of the "frugal" nature of my parents will probably be the nicest hotel room of my first 30 or so years on earth. In order to make the following story work, let's say that we had paid for a 1 dollar room, and the hotel room they upgraded us to cost 2 dollars. Obviously this is not true, but I couldn't not write about this story.

Check in Lady: Hello welcome to the Venetian.
Kip: Hi, we're checking in, last name Knight.
C: Ok, great I'm going to give you a free upgrade, the room you're going to stay in tonight would normally cost 2 dollars.
K: Wait! How much does it cost.
C: Normally 2 dollars.
K (turning bright red): Now hold on a minute, we reserved a room for 1 dollar, it says so right here.
Tom: KIP NO! It's okay checkout lady, he's had a lot to drink.
C: Ok here are your keys to your 2 dollar room.
K: (passes out from rage)

I can't think of anything else to write about this event. I might have some pictures posted later, but then again I might not. The way things have been going with this blog lately, you should be grateful for anything at all.