No Joy in Princeton

I showed up late to the football game. After about 45 minutes of a WPRB presentation on FCC rules and regulations, I had decided that I wasn't going to miss a once-in-a-decade opportunity to hear a thirty year old man tell me, for the tenth time, that shout-outs were a bad thing.

The once-in-a-decade opportunity I was missing was the chance for Princeton football to finally win an Ivy league championship. Thanks to an onslaught of press (practically the entire Friday edition of "The Daily Princetonian" was dedicated to the football team) it is now common knowledge that the football team hasn't won the Ivies in over 10 years. But having beaten Harvard and UPenn, the two perennial favorites, a win over lowly Yale today, would have all but guaranteed an end to this unfortunate tradition.

So I discretely snuck out the back door of the meeting and walked briskly towards the game. On the way over a ran into a girl I know.

"How much time left?" I asked hopefully.

"2 Minutes"

"What's the score??"

"14-7"

I couldn't understand how someone could abandon a defining moment in their college career with two minutes left. I later found out that she had left to watch a club volleyball game, which I think actually makes it worse.

When I showed up, things looked good. Yale had the ball on the 34 yard line, but there was only 1:30 left on the clock. And before long it was 4th down for Yale, 4th and goal, and they had to go for it. And they scored. 14-14.

I stuck around, despite the obvious fact that I was jinxing the team, because if we were gonna storm the field, then I was gonna be there. The field was never stormed. Two interceptions and 1 minute of game time later, Princeton had lost.

Though the campus had seemed filled with anticipation before the game, it didn't seem to be filled by any sort of melancholy at the result. Even right after the game, students jovially discussed Pokemon and Digimon Cards. But maybe those weren't University students.

Some of the football players looked pretty depressed, and I'm certain my former roommate, Brett, is among them. I thought of a good plan to cheer him up. Before the game all the students wear wearing "BEAT YALE" buttons. My joke is to write "by" in between the two words, so it says "BEAT by YALE" and then he could wear it as a little ID badge. Just kidding Brett, please don't hurt me.

This was homecoming week and Quad, my eating club, celebrated by serving an elaborate buffet for all the alumni that would be on campus. The buffet raised a lot of questions for me, such as why does Quad have a chocolate syrup fountain? This is a club whose steak tastes like, and possibly is, old shoes. This is a club that regularly runs out of skim milk. It is your duty to serve me good food and skim milk Quad! My parents pay you good money for that skim milk. They do not pay you for a stupid fountain that spews chocolate syrup. That is a stupid, stupid thing that noone wants. I watched that stupid fountain for half an hour and not even one person used it. Not one person! I just checked and we can sell that bad boy for at least 300 bucks. Thats 100 gallons of skim milk baby. Let's get the ball rolling on this one, and not everything today will have been for nought.