Regarding the Rock Snob

I used to think I was a rock snob. I didn't own a single "Sublime" CD. I scoffed at SMES kids who were happy with Blink 182. Nobody is happy with "Blink 182", I thought, you only think you're happy. Half-jokingly I named "Self Portrait" as my favorite Dylan album, thinking that it made me seem deep and mysterious.

Then I met Dan Ruccia.

Dan Ruccia worked at WPRB, the campus radio station where I now have a show. I'm sure if he ever got a glimpse of my music he would have had a good laugh, though this is pure conjecture as I never even saw him smile. Dan couldn't stand acts like "The Arcade Fire" or "The Shins". He dismissed them as "hipster", but what he really meant was that they had too many fans.

Dan was music director for the station for a year, and probably the most active reviewer in its history, so I got a good glimpse of what he looked for in music. I can tell you that one of his favorite bands of 2004 was Man Man, a motley crew of homeless men, screaming and playing trash cans. I can also tell you that he dismissed Sufjan Stevens, out of hand, claiming that he "lacked bite". There had to be something wrong here.

The problem here was that Dan was a rock snob. Not the faux-rock snob glorified by Chris Knight in a recent article, "The Plight of the Music Snob". Dan was the uber-snob that allow bands like "Xiu Xiu" to exist. He simply couldn't like acts with fans, or at least admit it. Before X & Y I used to confess to close friends that I liked Coldplay. Dan would sooner fall on a samurai sword than to let those words escape from his lips.

Being around Dan made me feel uncomfortable. One time I was starting a new show when he was in the room. Seeking approval, I grabbed the new "Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds" cd, entitled "Abbatoir Blues & The Lyre of Orpheus".

Nonchalantly, I asked, "Is this any good?"

"Yeah," he said.

So I loaded the disc and selected a track. The second it started playing, Dan said, "Oh, you chose the single"

Ok, first of all, someone like Nick Cave probably doesn't even release a single, and, even if he did would it make a difference? It's not like I was spinning "Stairway to Heaven"; this is a song that 99.9% of America had never and would never hear. And yet it wasn't enough for Dan. He was only happy with the most unpopular. It didn't matter that the track I chose was probably the best on the CD. Quality, to Dan, was an afterthought.

My interactions with a real rock snob led to some serious introspection. If this was how I saw Dan, was this how others saw me? The rock snob, even if he is right, is doomed to a lonely life. I would like Nickelback, I decided. People would like me.

I couldn't like Nickelback.

This is an unfinished story. Right now, I am in limbo, refusing to submit to the rock snobs or the rock idiots. If I asked the rock snobs, though, they would probably say that I've already made up my mind and offer me a Nelly CD. If I asked the rock idiots, they would probably get confused and vote for George Bush. Then I would tell them it wasn't an election year, which only complicate the situation.

All this has left me with a sour taste in my mouth when it comes to rock music. Maybe it's time to consider the alternatives. I've heard good things about Jazz.