Poker Diary (Part One)

As a regular feature on my blog, I will be doing a hilarious diary about our poker games: the funny things people say and the funny things that happen. First, though, I've got some catch-up to do, giving the history of our game, and reliving the classic moments.

Introduction:

The ol' gang got together for their first game in awhile as a semi-complete entity. The gang is Shannon, Riaz, Timmy, Panda, Mark, Matt, and Tom. Also as far as the young kids go Chris, Andrew, Brendan, Fathi, Joey, and many others sometime play. Occassionally Jack, Adam, and various others join along. We have played poker for about a year, and been through many fun poker moments. All we ever play is no-limit Texas hold 'em with a 20 dollar buy-in, but maybe someday that will change. When we first started playing, we watched "Rounders" and thought it was the coolest thing ever, which I think happens to anyone who starts playing poker these days. We quoted the movie constantly while we played until we realized that this is THE MOST ANNOYING THING EVER. Anyone that quotes "Rounders" while playing poker is not welcome to sit at our table. Rule 1 of poker club is "Don't Quote Rounders". Rule 2 of poker club is "Don't Talk about Poker Club". Rule 3 of poker club is "Don't make stupid jokes about Rules in a tired allusion to Fight Club". Our rules, as the careful reader may realize, are quite contradictary!

An accusation often leved at our group is that we are just being trendy and playing poker like every male between the ages of 15-21 these days is doing. For some reason the World Series of Poker, which is a great event, has become immensely popular recently, attracting band-wagon fans faster than a succesful sports team attracts Erin Sale. But we played before poker got so big! We got our first idea for a game after Ryan Dunlop told us how much fun it was. We played with plastic chips at Mark Burroughs kitchen table. I was the big winner that night. Justin Khalifa, in the first of a string of stinging losses was down 30 dollars for the night.

We got hooked quickly. We started playing weekly games, and they became twice a week games, and eventually started playing every night. It became clear that the addiction was dangerous when, after Jay Paul made us stop playing at his house at about midnight, we drove to Shannon's house to play a quick 5 dollar game.

Poker replaced essentially all other forms of social events. We read poker books, we watched the World Series on TV and dreamed of the day when we could become professional poker players. But who were these Mavericks of poker? These young guns shaking up the world of poker like never before? I'm glad you asked...

Shannon: One of the original members and most dedicated players, Shannon plays a conventional, skillful style of poker. His catchphrase at the table is undoubtedly the noise he makes when an amazing hand unfolds on the table. He exhales real loud. Not much of a catchphrase huh?

Riaz: A true maverick who plays very loose, because "he loves to see flops". Because of his incredibly risky style, Riaz will often loose huge amounts of money, but lately, because of unbelieveable luck, he has made hundreds. His catchphrase is an uncanny impersonation of Dareck Monteron, aka "Panda".

Timmy: The laughing stock of the table. Timmy brings joy to the table with his complete lack of knowledge of the game, and keeps everyone elses spirits high by continually losing his money to them. Timmy's image began to change when he won the first major tournament (more about that later), but he's still always good for a laugh. Catchphrase- MEH!

Panda: The "rock" of the table, Dareck Monteron, known affectionately as "Panda" will only call a rasie if he has two aces in hands. After the hand Q9 got Panda second place in the tournament, it was named after him. Panda doesn't have a catchphrase, because he does not actually speak.

Mark: Mark has taken over the role once occupied by Timmy, loveable loser. Mark has gotten much practice dealing cards as he is constantly defeated in every game of poker he has ever played. Fortunately, he is backed by the deep pockets of his dad, so he is always there ready to lose more money. As he is always performing the functions of a dealer, Mark has adopted the catchphrase "Changing 500".

Matt: One of the "Big Three" Matt is truly dedicated to the game. Upon winning over 100 dollars on a single hand (royal straight), Matt set the record for biggest win on a single hand in the history of the group. I can't remember if Matt has a catchphrase, which means that even if he did it's not that memorable.

Tom: The leader of the gang. Handsome, brilliant, and a master of the game. In a word...Perfect!

That's all for now. Please come back later, for some more poker diary!