Website Update

This'll be a treat! My website has been thoroughly cleaned up, and I added a bunch of features! Please check it out:

For Hours of Fun and Entertainment

I have cleaned up all the links and added two new features. The first one is a chess viewer where you can view some of my best chess games. Right now there are four quality contests, I especially recommend "Sacrifice Fly"; when I rewatched that one I couldn't believe how well I played! The second feature I added is called "Books and Albums" where I'm gonna hopefully put up an album every week, and write about any books that I have finished reading.

These are great features and lots of fun, trust me.

Two Pounds of Iced Tea

It's been exam week, and it's been tough. I won't dwell on it, except to say that I am extremely glad that it's over. During the month of January, I have consumed two pounds of powdered Lipton Iced Tea, two pounds of powdered raspberry kool-aid, one pound of Tang and a couple of Crystal Lights. Impressed?

I Shot the Sheriff

Wow, three blog posts in one night. Pretty sad I guess. But basically Chris Knight has fired the first shot in a blog war, in a recent post claiming that his blog was the best, and that he got more hits than me and THIS MEANS WAR! I would link to his blog so you could read it, but that would sort of defeat the purpose.

Here is the first grenade that I will lob in what should be a mighty war (by the way, one day I have to blog about the time that Chris and I waged a giant pitched battle on the fields of our elementary school. It was one of the most epic moments of my life). Anyways, back to the grenade, it is actually a grenade which, when it explodes sends a bunch of little tiny grenades flying in all directions and then those grenades explode, that's how powerful it is. What could possibly be that good? How about a clip from last night's American Idol? If that doesn't generate hits then I don't know what will. Actually, I do. A picture of a Lindsay Lohan catsup bottle. But that's been done.

Anyway, you can find it at my website, specifically here. It's at the bottom, called "I Shot the Sheriff". I'm not sure how this whole internet thing works, but if you wanna recommend it to your friends, maybe it will get on Google or at least Yahoo! That sentence wasn't meant to end in an exclamation point, but I felt obligated to use the full brand name in describing the popular search engine.

Bigging Up H.O.V.A

My favorite website, by far, is Metacritic. Basically, they compile reviews for music, TV shows, etc... so you don't have to waste time on, for example, the new Coldplay album. Typically they do a good job at transforming various reviews into a number and then crunching out a final grade. But occasionally they stumble.

I noticed one of their mistakes when they assigned a score of 90/100 to a review proclaiming "The Blueprint" by Jay-Z as "a masterpiece". The decision shouldn't have been that hard: the reviewer gave the album a 10/10 at the end of his review.

Not wanting Jay-Z to be cheated out of a well-earned metascore, I wrote a brief e-mail to the music director, and his score was quickly changed! I hope Jay-Z noticed and that he raps about this on a song sometime soon:

"Turn me down, turn the music up...
uh uh uh
Metacritic tried to keep my score low, so
My Man TK had them change the 9-0
to a 1-0-Oh!
He's so smart, but sometimes wastes his time on stupid things though.
I feel bad for him, so
I'm gonna give him a rap contract, and he will become famous in no time at all!"

Also, I recently helped out The Futureheads in a similar manner. Maybe they can write some sort of a-capella thankyou.

Microwave and Bruckheimer

There is nothing worse than when I am studying in the common room, and some jerk comes in to microwave his food. The Bloomberg common room is not only small; it also lacks any kind of ventilation. So, long after the hungry jerk has absconded with his tasty treat, I am left with foul odors that pierce my very soul and prevent any kind of studying.

This wouldn't be too bad if the foods being microwaved were conventional fare, but for some reason my dorm is packed full of international kids. This means that I was being forced to inhale an unholy conglomeration of enchilada, curry, and a Korean kid's dish which was disconcertingly difficult to identify. The worst is actually when someone makes popcorn, because the smell lingers for hours.

So, I got fed up. After about three days, I went searching for a study area without a microwave. And I couldn't find one! What kind of planning is this?! I can't think of two things that belong together less than studying and food preparation. Desperate, I came up with a cute little plan. I unplugged the microwave. Unfortunately the next person that came in saw right through this, plugged the microwave back in, and proceeded to foul up the room.

I had to go further. I tore a sheet of paper from my notebook, scrawled a hasty "OUT OF ORDER" and put it in front of the microwave. I then unplugged it again and for good measure hid the plug.

My new plan is working great. People come in with their nasty little dinners, look at the sign, and scurry away to someone else's room. I hate to admit it, but I get a pathetic little burst of joy every time I see the dissapointment on their faces.

Also this. I beg of you, it's very important so I will put it in all-caps. READ JERRY BRUCKHEIMER'S iTUNES CELEBRITY PLAYLIST! It is beyond description. There's so many countless jokes that I could make, but none of them will beat the real thing. So read it. Just go into iTunes celebrity playlists. His is on the first page right now. Let me know what you think.

Mark Burroughs: Superstar

A while ago a group of us attented a taping of Adam Carolla's talk show, "Too Late". Before the show, Mark was singled out to read off Adam's phone number on the show, due to the fact that "he looked interesting". Upon prodding, the producer of the show admitted that Mark seemed "more weird than interesting", due mainly to his, "Canada t-shirt and Lincoln Beard".

Mark read the phone number well enough, and for my OC friends and I, it was a significant mile-stone...we were now nationally famous. Wanting to immortalize the moment, Matt Sauter wrote a hilarious Wikipedia article on the subject. Over time it has evolved into a lengthy if somewhat untrue biography of the enigma of MIT:

Mark Burroughs featured prominently on episode 1F09 of "Too Late with Adam Corolla" starring as himself in the segment 1-866-HEY-ADAM. With verve and tenacity he delivered his line to a rousing ovation from the audience. Clearly moved Adam responded, "I haven't heard enthusiasm like that since the last time I had sex." His acting career then stalled for approximately 6 hours, but work is on the way his manager reports.

In July 2005 Mark was engaged to long-time girlfriend Erin Sale. The two are raising a one-year old baby boy with another on the way. "I couldn't be happier," Mark was recently quoted as saying to InTouch magazine.

Update: On September 11, 2005, Mark and Erin filed proceedings for divorce, citing "financial dificulties", possibly caused by Mark's lengthy unemployment. Though Mark fought hard in the court battle that followed, his inability to afford lawyers cost him, and Mrs. Sale was awarded full custody of both children, without visitation rights for a dejected Mr. Burroughs.

Mark now lives alone in a studio apartment in Culver City, "The heart of the screenland". A recent business venture ended in disaster, when the market for "leaf-blowing services" in southern California proved virutally non-existant.

For many months the entry stood proudly. But now, it seems, a controversy has erupted. I checked Mark's wiki today and this is what I saw:

This article is being considered for deletion in accordance with Wikipedia's deletion policy.
Please share your thoughts on the matter at this article's entry on the Articles for Deletion page.

Here's the debate that has taken place:

I'm gonna vote to keep this one, as Mark appeared "prominently" on a nationally broadcast television show.

Was tagged for speedy deletion by Nifboy as nn-bio, but IMO does not qualify as the person appeared on a TV episode as himself. However, outside of that he has notability whatsoever. howcheng {chat} 07:53, 12 January 2006 (UTC)

• Delete but not speedy Segv11 ^{(talk/contribs)} 10:06, 12 January 2006 (UTC)
• Delete not notable, fails WP:BIO. Kcordina 10:20, 12 January 2006 (UTC)
• Delete completely non notable. --Oscarthecat 10:26, 12 January 2006 (UTC)
• Delete. Nifboy 18:32, 12 January 2006 (UTC)
• Delete as non-notable vanity biography. Recommend the article author see WikiMe for writing biographies and/or WikiTree for writing genealogies. —Quarl ^(talk)

Btw, that first one was me. Although I find it hilarious that so many people consider Mark "completely non notable" I think that we need to fight for his rights on this one. Act now, before it is too late. Save Mark Burroughs! Go to

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Articles_for_deletion/Mark_Burroughs

and speak your mind.


UPDATE:

On January 16, at 2:54 am, I took matters into my own hands, and simply deleted the html code that had been tagged onto Mark's page. So far noone has noticed. These wiki guys are very easy to trick.

My Top 5 Radio Talk Shows

I'm a huge fan of talk radio. On any given day I will listen to 5-6 hours of it usually downloaded or streamed from my computer. Because bloggging requires that I assume people care about my opinion, these are my top 4 talk radio hosts or teams:

1. Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew- Together the duo used to host the hilarious "Loveline", a show which served as a forum for Adam's hilarious theories and ideas. One of my ideas was when Adam suggested that every can of Mountain Dew and Grape Soda should contain enough birth control, so that anyone who drank more than a liter in one month would be left sterile for a year. When Howard Stern left FM, Adam took over and is no longer on Loveline. Now both shows suck. A lot. Here's hoping he goes back soon. http://www.ehansen.us/Loveline/

2. Ira Glass- This American Life is an amazingly well-produced show that I find is best in small-doses. I think everyone that reads this blog is already a fan so I will say no more. www.thislife.org

3. Phil Hendrie- So talented at what he does that a lot of people don't actually believe that he could be doing it. Phil conducts interviews with outrageous guests, like Ted Bell, the restauranteur who claimed to have served an autistic kid a large serving of alcohol in order to "calm him down". The twist is that there is no Ted Bell, Hendrie does all the voices for his show, in essence talking to himself for three hours. According to Hendrie the show is a parody of talk radio, and serves mainly to mock the irate callers who will call in to yell at the guests. I think it's more than that--the characters that Phil has created are amazing comic acheivements on their own. www.philhendrieshow.com

4. Dunham and Miller (and the Great Gordo)- My favorite show from my favorite Radio station, 1310 The Ticket, in Dallas, Texas. Dunham and Miller are good as hosts, and they know a lot about sports, but the real reason to listen is Gordon Keith, who is second only to Phil Hendrie in his ability to do voices. http://www.gordonkeith.com/

5. Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant, and Karl Pilkington- This is one of the funniest radio shows I've ever heard. It's nothing like "The Office", with Ricky and Steve relying mainly on the idiocy of their producer, Karl, for laughs. It definitely works. Some of Karl's beliefs:

• You'll never see an old person eating a Twix, but they always buy ornaments.
• Some bacteria have better lives than Intuits.
• A group of monkeys were able to learn the value of money and go shopping, one of them even managing to pick out particular deals to save cash, showing a preference for slightly older veg.

I personally think that Karl is playing a bit of a part, but that doesn't take away from the humor. The podcast of these three is popular, but the real classic shows are from the London radio station, XFM. www.xfm.co.uk/ricky



I'm actually pretty excited for my own radio show this next semester. A friend from middle school, Bill Foran, who is also a huge fan of The Ticket is claiming that he is gonna do a show with me. I hope he follows through, because I'm bored to tears with my current format. If Bill comes on though, get ready for a great show. Maybe I'll crack my own top 5.

What's New With Tom Knight

For Christmas I got a new iPod video, not for the video, but for the 60 gigs; and let me say this: booya! So much great music that couldn't fit on my old iPod has finally been set free, so that, for example, my eyes have at last been opened to the greatness of Notorious B.I.G. Also, because the new iPod displays the album art for every song I have been on a frantic quest to find pictures for every album, so that I'm not embarassed if anyone ever looks at my iPod and, is all, "Hey Brosef where's your album art for Summer Days (and Summer Nights!!)?" So far I'm in the "e's".

If anyone is worried about what's going to happen to my old iPod, the ever-faithful third generation that has served me so well for so long, worry not. I would never consider selling her; she's been to good to me. I can say without a doubt that over the last two years, I have spent more time with my iPod than any person, or, for that matter, machine (this laptop is a close second). I had to ship her to Best Buy three times, but somehow she always found her way back home. I have decided to frame my old iPod and place it on the wall of fame next to my first rubik's cube (also framed).

For this past week I was at Mammoth with my family, Drew Marticorena, and Matt Sauter. Time was split evenly between skiing, "24", and "Winning Eleven 8" one of the greatest video games of all time. Though the weather was poor, the fun was plentiful. In a moment that should rank as both a high and low point in his life, Drew ate nearly two pounds of chili at lunch one day.

Pics and videos will be available quite soon, and they will be quite worth it. They will include me falling down on skis and getting an impressive bruise, and Drew eating nearly two pounds of chili.

Just now, I have just returned from a marathon gaming session at Howie's Gaming Shack, at the Kaleidoscope, where we played video games in a sea of nerds. Tomorrow I have Jury Duty. I'm expecting to get a monster blog out of it (a highly unconstitutional live blog perhaps?!), so it better be good.

Stay Tuned!